martedì 3 gennaio 2012

One shot. The rest of us

One shot. The rest of us



Robert Downey Junior pov


His taste for relieving my resentment.
Jude is taking a shower and I smoke a cigarette, for which I receive a stern rebuke.
Everyone has their own habits: he treats me like a waste, I continue to infest the hotel rooms.
It is kind when I told him that Susan was pregnant.
My deepest roots date back to the months spent in jail.
It seems another life, that is not mine, but wrong.
It 'part of me yesterday and it looks really, when Jude was holding me on the chest, after having heard the details of that period and the indelible marks traced on my body and especially in my soul, from abuse of some prisoners, who did not seem real fuck of a former celebrities like myself.
Only one night: the long and painful confession, locked in the depths of my brain, that intimacy violated, that no one would have touched.


And 'again.
Snorts.
"Rob ... throw it."
"As you have done with me?"
Chuckle, but I just finished crying, as usual, drowned in the pillow.
"What the fuck do you mean?"
Ask me no interest, so you know what I mean Jude and do not care.
You do not care more than me.
"Why do we still Jude?"
"We do what?"
"The am ... sex."
Smile.
"Because we like, because I have better, because you're an asshole."
Your voice seems to dance between words, dodging the blades of knives invisible, while the same strike to death what is left of my fragile dignity.
"Ok ... Ok Jude, then I can go, if you've finished."
"Finished what?"
These have the same sound your retorted.
I'm tired ...
I get dressed, shaking hands, they are cold, my head is spinning, I ate little, after taking two planes, but to stay at least a weekend in this house that is not mine anymore.
"Where are you going Rob?"
"And what do you care?"
I explode.
It's too bad.
Your distance, your get no love, slamming in your face anger and insults, usandomi as a pastime, you came to boredom.
"I do not want anything from you Jude!"
I cry as if tearing out every day, in which trapped the rest of us, crystallized in front of my new destiny.
I grab the neck, pinning against the wall: do not scare me and I'll cry, you can not destroy what is already in tatters.
Because it's over, so, between us, Jude?
You're wondering, too, and leave me short of breath, fingers paved with terror aggression unmanageable, you bend in two, as if he had found one of those blades to hit the road at last.
Remain suspended, unable to absorb oxygen, as an undead, when among us there is not even a shred of that life, which we shared for three years.

Rent the air with a desperate look, as much as the sobs that seem carambola from your throat to my brain, stunning, as are acute.

I rebuke you, then collapsing on the floor, stripping of the few dresses and coating them with your tears.
As a fury you are again, without even understanding what you want from me, without anything to tarnish or oppress or humiliate.

I no longer exist Jude.

You raise, stopping, slow down your hips with difficulty, because the pleasure that you draw from this dull another assault satisfies something in you, now I get obscene and hateful.

It lacked only this to spoil what we had believed love more alive, that beat on this planet just as arrogant, do not you think Jude? ...

I take in your irises, broken by a sob late and guilt, the regret of me shattered, with the undeniable richness of your physique, tall, strong, hot, in which I have always taken refuge, surrounded by a sweetness that belonged to you and you only love my ...

"... I love you Rob ..."



Like ashes in the wind, my thoughts go up by a heaven to the other, in a dimension in which to live and courage necessary to assert their emotions without fear, we thought it was possible to build something together wrong yet.


Now nothing can console us most.
You look at our backs, our feet move apart, there will be a new appointment, expected even counting the seconds while we were busy elsewhere, there will be no laughter in telling us that with which we tried to distract us, longing to press the mutual fund the soul, without success ...

We are far apart, it is necessary: ​​others have apparently won Jude.

A defeat, ours, too bitter, swoop down on me, while I guess with these nebulous color, you still inside me, this "... I love you Rob ..." that seems to make more sense.

I caress your face, pure source of joy since I know you and I hold you up, I just want to hear you breathing in my neck, I want to untie this knot in my stomach, which is choking both, I want my life with you Jude.

"... I want to be with you ... Jude"

It 'a murmur, that radiates from this puppet, taking place, till they become aware, renovated and present to myself.

"I want you so!" - Remarked, turning beneath me, crushing them firmly.

Nod and smile ... ...

In you, there is a purity, that no one had ever explored.
I know, I fell in love instantly.

I found, at last.


THE END

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